Unfortunately, food seems to have become a battleground in our culture and in many families. There is a tremendous disconnect between what is healthy food and what is most easily accessible in most of America, and its major supermarkets, where processed food is the name of the game.

This disconnect is also seen in marketing campaigns of food companies. It’s no secret that obesity is on a sharp rise, and yet, major corporations are pushing junk food which ultimately only increases health care costs. Sound crazy?  It is!

Too much intake of fat is not healthy for the skinniest kid. Even the leanest of children, should not be offered chocolate or whole milk (2%, 1%, or skim milk is the better choice), or junk food routinely. They are not immune to “adult diseases” at a young age. Over time, plaque will begin to develop in his/her arteries and by the time she is an adult she will be at high risk for a number of disease states: heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. In fact, we are seeing obese children presenting with these “adult diseases” as young as eight or nine years old.

Be a healthy eating parent. Your child will never eat healthily if you don’t model healthy habits. It’s important that this be a family affair with everyone working towards the same goal. Even if only one family member has an ostensible weight issue, you need to address it as an effort to change the eating habits of the whole family. Invite your kids to prepare meals with you. You may be surprised at how much fun you can have, and at the same time, help your child learn an invaluable skill.

Make it your business to learn what’s healthy and have good tasting snacks around all the time. To get some great advice in how to begin a healthy eating plan, go to Erin Macdonald’s website www.URockGirl.com or her blog http://completewellnessnow.wordpress.com/

Don’t bribe children with food: “If you eat your vegetables, I’ll take you for ice cream” isn’t a helpful message, because it translates into “if you eat food you can’t stand, I’ll reward you with food you love”— this only reinforces that vegetables/healthy foods are terrible tasting.

Developing healthy eating habits for our families doesn’t mean to stick to healthy food only. Erin advises to use an 80/20 rule to balance our food choices –80% stands for the nutritious food and 20% for the rest: pizzas, fries, sweets, etc. Eating healthily doesn’t have to totally limit kids. Ice cream is allowed! We are not trying to produce “health nuts.”

To listen to the last interview with Erin Macdonald, please go to: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drannieabram/2011/10/03/ask-dr-annie-abram

During our interview Dr. Nemzoff pointed out that this generation of grandparents is redefining what grandparenting means. Granny sitting in the corner knitting is being replaced with a very active and involved person.  Indeed with access to better health care and longer life spans, grandparents become great grandparents with some frequency.

Today we live in an innovational, not an industrial economy, and roles of family members have changed. Children are no longer responsible for “working on the farm.” We are bringing up our children differently.

Dr. Nemzoff pointed out the historical trend of parent-child relationships, which we witness ourselves: parents of each generation are closer to their children than in the previous generation. As Joshua Coleman, a psychologist who has a specialty in parenting/grand-parenting writes in his book “When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along” about the effects of our society moving from an authoritarian style of parenting to a democratic one over the course of two generations, has both its positives and negatives. On the positive side, parent/child relations seem to be closer but the negative is the confusion of boundaries. We’ve all had the experience of seeing a child in the supermarket screaming: “I want this, I want that”, and the parent capitulating. One can’t help but wonder who has the authority here? And on a different level, we see all sorts of boundary issues at play when a mother tries to look like her daughter and vice versa.

The biggest challenge for today’s grandparent is when, how, and whether or not to intervene in their children’s way of parenting.  The important task for them is to find their own way to engage with the grandchildren, while respecting the family norms. The basic rule is to always respect the parents’ decisions. They are with their kids 24/7, and they are the responsible ones. Talk to them. Find out what kind of help they need from you as a grandparent, and ask what works best for them.

At the end of the interview Dr. Ruth Nemzoff beautifully said to all grandparents: “…love all your grandchildren. They are all different, so find a unique way to have a relationship with each of them: blood related or not.

To listen to the interview please go to:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drannieabram/2011/09/19/ask-dr-annie-abram

A wide range of feelings, from relief, a sense of guilt, shame, and fear are usually present. The most helpful way of dealing with these feelings is allowing yourself to have them, giving yourself the opportunity to work them through so they won’t continue to interfere with your life.  If not understood, your anger about your marriage ending will show up in disguised ways. Some people begin to drink too much; others become self-destructive by not being responsible at work, alienating loved ones by inappropriate demands or behavior. The best thing you can do for yourself is to talk to someone your trust: a friend, clergy person, or a therapist. Going through such a life changing experience without help or support is a prescription for misery.

Click on the link below to listen to the whole episode:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drannieabram/2011/09/12/ask-dr-annie-abram

Dr. Sheryl Feinstein, Chair of the Education Department at Augustana College in Sioux Falls, SD specializes in adolescence brain development and teenage behavior. She is the author of Secrets of the Teenage Brain 2nd Ed (2009) and my guest on Blog Talk Radio on Monday, June 12th. Dr. Feinstein emphasized that along with the massive brain reconstruction during adolescence in general, differences in what goes on in the male and female brain exist. For example, in adolescent boys, the amygdala (the emotional seat of the brain) is much larger and more active than in girls due to testosterone and its influence. In general, boys’ anger is triggered more easily and quickly. Knowing this, we can help our sons find ways to manage their outbursts and be understanding of their risky behaviors. In fact, we can use adolescence as a time to help boys to learn how to control their anger. Often, a conversation acknowledging the stress they are experiencing is “normal” and in part, a result of their brain undergoing rapid growth can be the beginning of a valuable dialogue.

Adolescent girls are infamous for their mood swings, which can be accounted for by the presence of endorphins and serotonin in their brains. Endorphin reduces pain sensations and gives them a lot of energy. Serotonin works in the opposite way; it calms them down. As girls reach puberty they also produce estrogen, which can contribute to their going from one mood to another in a nano second.

In addition to those differences, girls have a considerably larger hippocampus than boys. “In rats, the hippocampus has been studied extensively and is thought to be responsible for behavioral inhibition, attention, spatial memory, and navigation.” It is hypothesized
that because the female hippocampus is larger than boys and has the above qualities,
it gives girls a social advantage, meaning they are more attuned and attentive to others than boys during the teenage years. Short term memory also supports girls daily functioning and different social situations such as remembering names or details of their friends’ problems, etc.

To listen to the entire interview with Dr. Sheryl Feinstein go to “Ask Dr. Annie Abram” Blog Talk Radio Show.